Indian Princesses and Time Machines

I was a citizen of the good health community today. I went to the gym, despite the blustery and rainy winter weather that promises to be no stranger to Oklahoma this season. I put in thirty minutes on the treadmill and thirty minutes on the elliptical. This was no ordinary elliptical. It was of the variety which has moving handles, so you don't feel like you're at the gym. Oh, no. You feel like you're on some four-pedaled bicycle, trying to cycle your upper and lower halves into a fabulous new you.

While on the elliptical, the pictures of delectable foods in my Women's Health Magazine (irony?) and my lack of self control convinced me I simply must have a banana. So I went to the grocery store.

I got adventurous at the Neighborhood Market Walmart. In the snacks isle, next to the beer, I found Veggie Medley. It is a blend of crunchy vegetables, with what is much like a chip texture. There are green beans, taro- which I had to look up but is apparently a white edible tuber- sweet potatoes, and to my surprise, indigenous North American women. That's right, “squas.” Squa is an accepted alternate spelling for squaw. Sure, it is possible that the food label editor had the day off, or spell-check was turned off... more likely though, there is someone at Waymouth Farms Inc. who has a vendetta against Native American princesses. Far more likely, right? As for the product, I say two and a half stars for flavor, four stars for effort. I quickly found that the taros were my favorite part, so now, my Indian Princess Medley is sadly taro-free.

Since the only meat I eat is fish, it is difficult to get enough protein most days. This brings me to the soy nuts I discovered. For a mere 130 calories, three tablespoons will get me ten grams of protein! This came for me during a dark night. If I had to eat another protein bar, I was going to weep.

While I wrote this post, I sampled the trail mix, Indigenous Woman Medley, soy nuts, and yes, even a banana. I'm pretty sure I just ate more than I burned off on the elliptical/time machine. Did I forget to mention that one of the features of this elliptical is time travel functionality? Welcome to the future.